This is the fourth of a four-part series on the role of values, beliefs, attitudes, and behavior in leadership.

If you are already asking yourself "how do I change my behavior," then you have already decided your behavior needs to change. For some behaviors, that is obvious. If you're late all the time, for example, you should probably take steps to correct that. When it comes to how a leader behaves, however, the decision about what behavior does and doesn't need to change is not as simple. If you were to ask ten people in your company whether you dress too casually or uphold rules too strictly, you will likely get ten different answers. That's because every manager is different, as is every management situation. As you will see from this article, the answer to the question "How should leaders behave?" is, as is often the case, dependent on you, your leadership style, and your team.

What Good Leaders Have in Common

Before you can unleash your individual style as a leader there are some fundamentals you need to cover. "Leader" is a profession with some prerequisites.

Drive

How leaders should behave requires having and demonstrating drive. Internalize drive and many other shortcomings never have a chance to surface. You can't have a problem being late if your drive pushes you to always be early. A leader decides and acts on the premise, "This will happen," and has the drive to work toward that goal every day.

Expertise

An incompetent leader with drive quickly becomes either a hated taskmaster or the subject of ridicule. How a leader should behave if they are not qualified to be a teacher is, quite simply, to be a student. If you as a leader are honest about what you do not know, your team will likely respect you more for saying so than if you pretend to be an expert. Listen to your team to see where your level of expertise ranks among them, and raise your level of competence at every opportunity. If you're learning, your team will notice over time.

Positive Attitude

The previous article in this series covers what it means for a leader to have a positive attitude. It doesn't mean always looking on the bright side or constantly lifting your team's spirit. In the context of how a leader should behave, a positive attitude means that you believe your team is capable of completing its goals and that you reinforce that belief at every opportunity. "Positive" doesn't necessarily mean "happy", but it does always mean "determined".

Fairness

A fair leader inspires the team. An unfair leader at best divides, or at worst, alienates the team.

Every Management Style Is Different

"How do I change my behavior?" is a dangerous question if you've already covered all the fundamentals. You must find a comfortable style or risk coming off as insincere. You may decide to borrow from leaders you admire, but your team will notice if you're just imitating some other person. Be comfortable with yourself, and stay out of the Uncanny Valley. Within the limit of your style, you must also adapt. When you find your balance, it will be your balance--one that is right for you and right for the job. Consider the following areas and how you might handle them as a team leader.

Casual vs. Formal

This issue is fairly self-explanatory, but it might not be as simple as it first appears. For example, let's say you're leading a team of graphic artists or filmmakers, but you yourself do not have a creative background. How should a leader behave in this situation? Should you dress more artistically to fit in, or should you wear your normal business attire to clarify that you are not a creative professional? To put it another way: will your team appreciate your effort to fit in, or will they see it as trying too hard? Only you can know the answer.

Rule Enforcement

How tightly do you enforce rules? Be cognizant of which rules are absolute and which you should bend. Also, be aware of how well your natural style is meshing with your team's expectations — and don't break the law, whether or not compliance provokes eye-rolls from the team. How a leader should behave is to protect the team, even from itself.

Safety Consciousness

If you're used to leading air traffic controllers, you might find transitioning to an outfit where safety hazards are largely abstract a bit difficult (such as lost work hours vs lost lives). How a leader should behave toward risk does depend on the situation. If you're moving into a role with a hazard level that is vastly different from your last position, you may need to give yourself time to adapt.

Mission vs. People Oriented

While all leaders must be mission-oriented, how leaders behave also requires good people skills. Some teams respond better to people-oriented leaders, so you may need to strike a balance. If your team members resent "being managed" when they just want to get the job done, you might lean into the mission more and the people less. But if your team members need a little small talk in order to get going on their work, then you should do what you can to get it for them.

How Leaders Behave: Metrics for Management

If you've done the work and decided that the question "How do I change my behavior?" isn't getting to the heart of your issue, then you may need to dig into some other metrics to determine how your leadership style fits with your team. You may need to adapt your style or adapt your team.

Are You the Carrot?

The clearest sign your leadership style is working is that your team's primary incentive is to please you. You need neither sticks nor carrots. You are the carrot. Your team looks up to you and wants to please or impress you. This is your best-case scenario. However, beware there is nowhere to go but down, and you must mind your fundamentals to stay on top. How a leader behaves should ultimately be directed to this apex goal.

Balkanization

Has your team split into camps, some for you and some against? If you're treating your team fairly, your style might naturally play team members off against each other, and not everyone responds positively to a competition. After a self-assessment, you might need to either change the personnel on your team or change your style.

Debbie Downer

Is one person responding poorly to your management style? What looks like Balkanization might be a much more personal problem. How a leader behaves in this situation is one-on-one and personal, but beware: your team will be watching. Your reputation is on the line. It might be wise to bring your team on-side and even solicit their help. In the end, it might be necessary to simply remove the disruptive downer from the team. The opinions of your team raise the stakes for how a leader behaves in this situation.

Conclusion

How a leader behaves has no easy answers; neither are the questions impossible. Separate your behaviors into style and fundamentals, don't miss the fundamentals and use your metrics to uncover any mismatch of style. The Eighth Mile has a leadership training course to unlock the potential of your leadership style. Learn, and lead.