Favouritism in Leadership

Whether it takes the form of favouring one person over others or turning a blind eye to the mistakes of someone we prefer, favouritism can quietly erode trust, harm team morale, and undermine the culture we’re striving to build.

We’re often reminded to make decisions based on fairness and objectivity. Yet one of the most subtle and damaging pitfalls we can fall into—sometimes without even realising it—is favouritism.

While it’s natural to feel closer to certain individuals, leadership challenges us to rise above personal inclinations and focus on equity.

The Two Faces of Favouritism

Favouritism shows up in two primary ways, both of which can damage team dynamics and trust.

1. Favouring One Person Over Another

This is the most visible form of favouritism. We might assign the best projects, opportunities, or recognition to a particular individual—sometimes without even realising we’re doing it. Perhaps we feel they’re the most reliable, or maybe we simply share a stronger rapport with them.

For example, if we always give high-profile assignments to the same team member, others may feel overlooked or undervalued, regardless of their potential. While it’s tempting to rely on our top performers, overdoing it can alienate the rest of our team and send the message that their contributions are less important.

The risks go beyond hurt feelings. Over time, those who feel excluded may disengage, while the favoured individual could face burnout from carrying too much or complacency from assuming their position is secure.

2. Ignoring Issues or Failings of a Favourite

The second, subtler form of favouritism occurs when we overlook the mistakes, underperformance, or problematic behaviours of a team member we favour. Perhaps we justify their actions because of their past successes or personal connection to us.

For instance, if someone on our team repeatedly misses deadlines or causes tension but faces no consequences, others will notice. This inconsistency can lead to frustration, resentment, and a sense of injustice among the rest of the team.

By holding different people to different standards, we risk creating a culture where accountability is uneven, morale drops, and our credibility as leaders is questioned.

The Ripple Effects of Favouritism

Favouritism, whether overt or subtle, doesn’t occur in isolation. It affects not only the individuals involved but also the broader team and organisational culture.

1. Broken Trust

Trust is at the heart of effective leadership, and favouritism undermines it. When team members perceive unfair treatment, they may begin to doubt our motives and integrity. This mistrust can quickly spread, creating an environment where collaboration, communication, and innovation are stifled.

Psychological safety—the belief that team members can take risks or voice concerns without fear—is also compromised. Without this foundation, we risk losing the openness and creativity that drive success.

2. Reduced Team Performance

When favouritism takes root, those who feel overlooked may stop giving their best effort. If they believe rewards and recognition are predetermined, they’ll naturally question the value of going the extra mile.

At the same time, the favoured individual might become complacent, knowing their position is secure regardless of their output. As leaders, we must ensure that all team members feel their contributions matter and that opportunities are earned fairly.

3. Stifled Diversity of Thought

When we consistently turn to the same people for input or ideas, we risk narrowing the range of perspectives we consider. Diversity of thought is essential for innovation and problem-solving, yet favouritism can create an echo chamber that stifles creativity and fresh thinking.

By unintentionally sidelining certain voices, we may miss out on valuable insights that could strengthen our decisions and strategies.

4. High Turnover

When employees feel undervalued or perceive inequity, they’re more likely to leave. Losing talented team members is not only costly—it disrupts the cohesion and productivity of our teams.

A reputation for favouritism can also make it harder to attract new talent. People want to work in environments where fairness and equity are prioritised. If that’s not the perception of our leadership, we risk alienating top candidates before they even join.

Why Favouritism Happens

Favouritism often arises unintentionally, stemming from factors we might not even recognise.

  • Implicit Bias: We naturally gravitate toward people who share similar interests, backgrounds, or communication styles. These unconscious biases can influence our decisions if left unchecked.
  • Overreliance on High Performers:Leaning on reliable individuals can feel efficient, but it can also create an over-dependence that stifles growth across the team.
  • Conflict Avoidance: It’s uncomfortable to address issues with someone we have a strong connection to, so we may excuse their behaviour or delay tough conversations.
  • Lack of Awareness: Without feedback, we might not realise how our actions are perceived or how favouritism is impacting the team.
Run the Gauntlet

A full day of high-energy team-building activities designed to challenge your team to rise to the next level.

Can your team handle the Gauntlet?

Breaking the Cycle

The good news is that favouritism is preventable. By being mindful of our behaviours and making deliberate choices, we can foster a culture of fairness and inclusivity.

1. Reflect on Our Biases

Self-awareness is the first step. We should regularly evaluate whether we’re treating everyone fairly and be open to feedback from our teams. It takes courage to confront our blind spots, but doing so strengthens our leadership.

2. Set Clear, Objective Standards

Establish transparent criteria for assignments, promotions, and rewards. When expectations are clear, everyone knows what’s required to succeed, and favouritism becomes less likely.

3. Rotate Opportunities

We should strive to distribute key projects and responsibilities evenly, giving all team members a chance to shine. This approach not only builds trust but also helps develop the skills and confidence of the entire team.

4. Hold Everyone Accountable

Accountability must be consistent. When issues arise, we need to address them fairly and consistently, regardless of the individual’s past contributions or personal connection to us.

5. Create Feedback Channels

By encouraging open dialogue, we can gain insights into how our leadership is perceived and identify areas for improvement. Anonymous surveys or regular check-ins can help uncover concerns we might otherwise miss.

6. Develop Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence helps us recognise biases, manage our emotions, and build stronger relationships with our teams. By cultivating self-awareness and empathy, we can lead with fairness and authenticity.

Our Leadership Legacy

The best leaders are remembered not for the favouritism they showed but for the fairness they championed. When we prioritise equity and accountability, we build a foundation of trust and respect that empowers our teams to thrive.

Favouritism may offer short-term comfort or convenience, but its long-term consequences rarely justify the cost. As leaders, our challenge is to rise above our biases, lean into fairness, and create an environment where every individual feels valued.

In the end, fairness isn’t just a leadership principle—it’s our responsibility.

Drawn from lessons learned in the military, and in business, we make leadership principles tangible and relatable through real-world examples, personal anecdotes, and case studies.

© Copyright 2023 The Eighth Mile Consulting  |  Privacy